


Out of Africa

by injerannie94



Series: Take a lot to take me away from you [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Culture Shock, F/M, Kenya, Long Distance Relationships, M/M, Modern AU, uni - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-03-21 09:03:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3686334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/injerannie94/pseuds/injerannie94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili thought back to the first time he and Fili had parted; it had been at this very same spot, in front of the departures at Jomo Kenyatta Airport. Only this time, it was him who was staying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here is the sequel!! My hugest thanks to everyone who commented/kudosed on Little Lion Man - without you and all your support this would not have happened :)
> 
>  
> 
> Hope you all enjoy, all comments/kudos/suggestions always welcomed :) X

“I’ll see you at Christmas.”

 

Kili thought back to the first time he and Fili had parted; it had been at this very same spot, in front of the departures at Jomo Kenyatta Airport. Only this time, it was him who was staying.

 

He couldn’t be too sad – this had been his idea after all, it was _he_ who had suggested to Fili that he go and get a degree in photography, in this world where what you had on paper was more important than acres of action. Fed up with being overtaken by a bunch of younger freshly-graduated art school students, Fili had agreed. They’d had fun looking up courses, not thinking of the consequences of Fili going to England for three years, until the moment of truth finally arrived.

 

Kili forced a smile. “Have a great time.”

 

The straps of Fili’s rucksack dug into his shoulders as he rested a hand on the side of Kili’s neck and kissed him softly.

 

“It’ll fly by. You’ll see.”

 

“I know.” Kili kissed him a last time and with an effort, pulled his hands away. “You’ve got to go. Or it’ll leave without you.”

 

“Will it?” Fili said doubtfully. Kili recognized the flicker of fear behind those blue eyes he knew so well.

 

He pulled him into a hug (against his better judgment because he knew that once he put his arms around Fili it would be hard to tear them away again) and tried to sound reassuring. “You’ll be fine. It’s just a flight. And you’ve got your meds right?”

 

“Right here.” Fili tapped his pocket, trying not to show that his hands were shaking.

 

“Then no need to worry, babe.” Kili wanted to swallow the endearment that slipped from his lips before he could stop it, but thankfully Fili chuckled.

 

“Thanks.” He gave him one last kiss and Kili pushed at his chest.

 

“Stop stalling! You’re rubbish. Bye!”

 

“See you!”

 

With a last wave, he was gone.

 

……..

 

When he next spoke to Fili some fourteen hours later (2AM Kenya time, but Kili didn’t mind), Fili sounded weary but not stressed. The flight had gone fine – he had slept through half of it, and spent the other half chewing the cardboard crap that passed as ‘food’ 3000 miles above the earth and feasting on the movies available on in-flight entertainment. Kili remembered how excited he had been the first time he had flown to Kenya, which had also happened to be the first time he had ever been out of Europe; he had spent so long dithering over the multitude of films to watch (on the little screen he had all to _himself_!) that by the time he had picked and finished the first one, the plane was landing. 

 

“It’s really weird being back. I don’t think it’s really struck me yet that I’m staying. It feels like I’m just here visiting on holiday, as usual.”

 

“It’ll hit you soon,” Kili laughed. “Wait til classes start, then the holidays will be over.”

 

“Three more days of freedom then... I’ll try to make the most of it.”

 

“Got much planned?”

 

Kili heard Fili laugh uncomfortably. “Not really. Unpacking. Shopping. Scoping out the area, I guess. I wish I did, I’m – sort of nervous now. About term starting.”

 

“Don’t be, you’ll be great. I bet you’re miles ahead of anyone else on your course. It’ll be a _breeze_ ,” Kili assured him.

 

“I hope so.” Fili laughed again, warmly this time. “Anyway. It must be late there, what time is it?”

 

“Um. It’s just past two.”

 

“Jesus! You should go to bed!”

 

“Probably.” Kili yawned. “I have work in the morning,” he added mournfully.

 

“I’m glad I won’t be there to see the state of you in five hours time,” Fili teased. Kili made a sound that was half a groan, half a laugh.

 

“Thanks for staying up,” Fili said quietly. “I appreciate it.”

 

“Goodnight. I love you.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kili takes a risk...

 

In the weeks that followed, Kili found himself missing Fili more than he expected – he tried to fill his time outside work with seeing his friends or doing errands, because being alone in the house made him feel very small. Arnold was his saving grace these days.

 

“How’s Philip doing?” Ori asked one lunchtime as they shunted their trays along the counter in the canteen.

 

“Fine,” Kili replied, not bothering to correct Ori, who for the life of him could never get around saying Fili’s real name. “He’s moved into the flat and everything alright. He says it’s cold,” he added with a chuckle. “Poor man, never lived out of this country, it’s got to be a shock.”

 

“And how’s single life again?” Nori asked cheerily, helping herself to fresh smoothie.

 

“I’m not _single_ ,” Kili retorted. “I’m just – in a long-distance relationship.”

 

“Same thing really,” Nori commented happily. “Except that you spend your whole life on the phone and aren’t allowed to get off with anyone else.”

 

Kili rolled his eyes. “Are you done yet?”

 

“No. How’s the sex life?”

 

“Horrible,” Kili replied before he could stop himself and was about to regret it before he admitted that it was true. Apart from the general loneliness from Fili’s absence, Kili was very conscious of the empty space in the bed next to him – and the consequences. Kili very soon decided that a life of celibacy was not for him.

 

Nori and Ori both laughed at that, and Nori paused their conversation long enough so they could pay for their lunch and go sit somewhere a little more private. Kili sincerely hoped the intervention into his love life was over, but as usual, he was wrong.

 

“Well, the solution’s obvious isn’t it? Skype sex.”

 

“I’m not going to do that!” Kili groaned.

 

Nori raised an eyebrow as Ori hastily tucked into his curry in an attempt to escape. “The thought’s occurred to you before, hasn’t it?”

 

“Maybe,” Kili mumbled in resignation, reddening.

 

“It’s easy,” Nori encouraged. “All you have to do is – “

 

“ _Please_!” Ori groaned. “I’m trying to _eat_ here!”

 

The subject came to a merciful close at that, though the thought didn’t leave Kili’s mind for days; he wouldn’t be against the idea, but how he would broach the subject was a mystery – should he try to discuss it with Fili beforehand (Kili didn’t like that, strongly suspecting that _that_ conversation would kill what little romance remained in the concept of phone sex). However, the alternative, to just throw himself into it and hope Fili would play along, incurred significantly more risk and potential great embarrassment.

 

It was days before he decided the latter was the better approach, days more before he decided he would do it, and weeks had passed before he finally plucked up the guts to call Fili with the intention of doing it. Even then, he found himself stalling.

 

“How’s your mum?”

 

“ _She’s super. I had lunch with her last week. She says hi.”_

 

“That’s nice. Tell her I say hi back.”

 

“ _Will do_...”

 

“How’s Tauriel?”

 

“ _She’s fineeeee_ ,” Fili elongated the word, and Kili could hear clinking, as if Fili was distracted with something else – probably getting himself a glass of water.

 

“And Edie?” Kili was rapidly running out of people to ask after.

 

“ _She’s_ gorgeous _! I think I’m going to take some photos of her soon_.” Fili’s voice was warm, with the kind of emotion he only used when speaking about Frodo or Edie. “ _Tory wants some family portraits now she’s lost her pregnancy weight. Women, eh?”_

 

“Yeah. Right.” Kili decided it was now or never – if he waited a second longer, he would lose his nerve. He could feel it slipping away already.

 

“Um.” He bit his lip. “What are you wearing?”

 

“ _My pyjamas. It’s afternoon over here._ ” Fili’s voice sounded guilty. “ _I didn’t have class today and um… yeah. I’m being lazy._ ”

 

Of course, the three hour time difference. Kili could have kicked himself; it was four o clock in the afternoon in England, Fili was probably still in daytime mode and not in a sexy mood at all!

 

“ _Why?”_

 

“Nothing!” Kili said hastily, squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment even though Fili couldn’t see him. He felt the last of his nerve slip away and sighed inwardly – he’d have to try this again another time, if he could pluck up the courage again, and this time think better about planning. Maybe it was worth having a painful, awkward conversation about it. Kili imagined his opening line: “So, I’ve been thinking about Skype sex…” and cringed inwardly.

 

Fili’s bare chest suddenly filled his screen, a knowing smile curling around his lips.

 

 _“… kidding_ ,” he said softly, in a purr that made something inside Kili drop about a hundred feet into the ground.

 

“Oh,” he gasped, suddenly short of breath.

 

“ _Turn your video on. I want to see what you’re wearing.”_

 

Kili hastily flung off his tshirt and clicked on the video icon.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! all kudos and comments are appreciated/make my day/inspire me to write more :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long three months later...

 

Three months had never seemed like such a long time – but finally term was over. Fili insisted that he would get a taxi back to the house as his flight got in late, but Kili was too excited to sleep anyway, and was awake when Fili stumbled through the door – they fell into eachother’s arms and into bed and both of them slept better than they had done in weeks.

 

After a few days of well-earned catching up and snuggling, they headed north to Naivasha – it was just them, Dis, Bilbo, Frodo and the dogs for the holidays this year as Tory and Legolas were staying in England to spend Edie’s first Christmas with the twins’ mother. Fili was overjoyed when he realized, as a surprise for him, they were actually going down to the coast.

 

A week of sea, sun, sand and seasonal cheer later, the pair headed back to Nairobi (Kili couldn’t afford to take much time off work) and all too soon, it was time for Fili to fly back again.

 

On Fili’s last night they went across town to Talisman, one of Fili’s favourite restaurants.

 

“Bit posh for your tastes, isn’t it, bush boy?” Kili asked as they were shown to a table in a courtyard, surrounded by candle-filled lanterns and plush cushions.

 

“We deserve a treat,” Fili replied. “And the cuisine is _buonissimo_!” he added, kissing his bunched fingertips enthusiastically.

 

Kili laughed. “The food isn’t even Italian, you nit!”

 

They got back in time for Fili to stuff an extra pair of jumpers into his suitcase (“It’s so bloody _cold_ there!”). They stood by the door.

 

“Actually, it’s still a bit early, don’t have to leave for ten minutes,” Fili began, but was silenced when Kili flung his arms around him. The hug lasted longer than usual.

 

“I don’t want you to go,” Kili mumbled.

 

“Me neither,” Fili said quietly. He tilted Kili’s face up and Kili saw he looked as wretched as he felt inside.

 

“We’re so needy,” he chuckled quietly, grabbing Fili’s elbow and leaning in for a kiss.

 

“We’ll be alright,” Fili muttered in Kili’s ear. “Just til Easter. We’ll manage.”

 

Kili nodded, the lump in his throat making it hard to speak.

 

“My taxi will be here soon,” Fili murmured sadly.

 

“I could have driven you,” Kili mumbled. He would have liked the drive, a few more minutes to spend with the man he didn’t realize he loved so much until he went away.

 

“I wouldn’t want you to have to drive back on your own,” Fili told him, tracing a thumb over his jaw. The reasons went unspoken. It was dangerous to drive late at night. And it was one thing to be left in the house by yourself, but something else to be coming back to an empty house.

 

A toot was heard outside.

 

“That’ll be me,” Fili whispered.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, all comments/suggestions/kudos welcomed :) Xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slightly later than usual update! by next week should be back on track with weekend updates :) hope you enjoy! X

 

Fili heard them before they came in, feet on the steps, then their low voices and giggles just outside the door. Fili waited a few moments for them to come in, then crossed the room and opened the door himself. Legolas and Tauriel broke apart, Tauriels’ lipstick looking a little smudged. One look at Legolas’ mouth told Fili where it had gone.

 

He raised an eyebrow. “Do come in.”

 

“It’s our flat,” Tauriel retorted, prancing inside still clinging to Legolas’ hand.

 

“How was Edie?” Legolas asked.

 

“Good as gold. As always.”

 

Legolas smiled adoringly. “Our little angel. She’s only two, she hasn’t learned to be naughty yet.”

 

“I’ve heard three is the worst age,” Tauriel piped up.

 

“Next year I’ll be retiring from babysitting,” Fili said hastily.

 

“Well, until then, I could do with a cup of tea,” Tauriel hinted.

 

“What happened to ‘it’s our flat?” Fili demanded.

 

Tauriel grinned. “Last time you were babysitting, you made yourself quite at home – or was it Edie who ate her way through half our fridge?”

 

“ _Cinderelly_ , _Cinderelly_ ,” Fili muttered sourly, but he was already halfway to the kitchen. He made a mental note to never tell Kili how much he secretly enjoyed children’s films. Well. Except _The Lion King_.

 

When he went back into the living room, cradling three hot mugs of steaming tea, Tauriel and Legolas were kissing again.

 

“Do you _mind_?” he demanded sagely, setting the mugs down on the coffee table with a little more force than necessary. “You’re worse than a pair of sixteen-year-olds.”

 

“Don’t be grumpy just cos Kili isn’t here,” Tauriel reprimanded, disentangling herself.

 

“I’m not _grumpy_.”

 

“You’re sex deprived and living alone. I’d be grumpy if I were you.”

 

“ _Tauriel!”_

 

“The baby’s not _here_!” Tauriel protested, as Legolas gave the baby monitor a scandalized look. “It’s not a walkie-talkie!”

 

“And on that note, I should be off.” Fili downed the last of his tea and swung his coat over his shoulders, grabbing his satchel. “Back to the bachelor pad.”

 

“That smells of socks and gym towels and instant noodles.”

 

Fili shuddered. “Don’t make me ill.”

 

He thought of Kili with a pang – probably drowning in junk food on their sofa, _still_ with those horrible purple cushions, enjoying his newfound freedom. He was probably licking neon orange Cheeto powder from his fingers, possibly feeling a tiny twinge of guilt as he thought of Fili and his rules and “ _nothing with more than four E-numbers in it and five words in the ingredients you can’t pronounce_ ” – he hoped he was, if only it meant Kili was thinking of him.

 

“And tissues.”

 

“ _Nasty_!” Fili groaned, glad to shut the door behind him.

 

It was definitely getting warmer, he noticed as he hit the street – but still not warm enough. He shivered, lamenting his lack of a scarf as he walked briskly back to his block of flats. He felt his phone vibrate with a text as he dug in his pockets for his keys – it was Legolas telling him they’d forgotten to pay him again, and feel free to drop by anytime tomorrow. Fili sighed – how many times did he have to tell them, he didn’t want to be paid, he loved spending time with his niece. Her ever-growing repertoire of words now included “Un’gw Fee!” and Tauriel said she was hard-pressed to persuade Edie to wear anything other than the ‘Somebody in Kenya Loves Me’ t-shirt that he’d given her for Christmas (which she was rapidly outgrowing). He would never get enough of seeing her gappy-toothed grin, listening as she regaled him with stories about her favourite toys and accepting the hundreds of pictures she drew for him in almost every medium possible. He pulled out the newest addition and added it to the collection, his pink crayon self joining the population of stickmen on the fridge.

 

He paused as his eyes fell on the second drawing she’d given him tonight: two purple figures, one with a yellow mane, the other a mop of black hair. She hadn’t forgotten about Kili, and tonight she’d asked about him; they’d spent a fun hour stalking him on facebook before it hurt too much and he suggested they play a different game. She sat at the table with her crayons while he made dinner, and asked him to give Kili his picture next time she saw him – Fili couldn’t bring himself to tell her it would be months before that happened. After dinner he made her hot chocolate and let her fall asleep on his lap in front of cBeebies (he knew it was a bad habit but the best bit about being an uncle was not having to deal with the consequences of spoiling a child rotten).

 

The flat seemed suddenly very empty, even more lonely than it usually did. Fili thought of calling Kili, then thought of the time difference and thought better of it. Fuck. This long-distance shit was harder than he’d thought it would be.

 

He glanced at the clock and could have groaned – it was half ten. Too early to go to bed, too late to call Kili. He thought jokingly about cracking open a drink, then thought of it again. _No Fili, alcohol is not a solution to your problems_ , he could almost hear Kili’s voice, his ecstatic laugh as he wrestled a fourth beer out of Fili’s stubborn hands. _Meanie,_ he would pout and Kili would laugh again before winding his arms around him, showering his face in kisses, teasing until he finally covered Fili’s lips with his own.

 

Great. And now he was imagining things. And hugging himself while he was at it...

 

Whatever. Hugging himself felt good. And if he would spend the rest of the night talking to his phantom Kili in his head and pretending he was here, so be it. There were more unhealthy things he could do.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Kili stared at the tiled floor. A splash of salty water hit the spot he was staring at, half startling him – he wiped his flushed cheeks, pinched the skin between his eyebrows and closed his eyes with a sigh, trying to control himself.

 

He heard something scratch at the bathroom door and a small whine. A wet nose and whiskers pushed their way into his palm; automatically his fingers unfurled, reaching to stroke Arnold’s warm head. Kili opened his eyes and gave the dog a small smile.

 

“Fuck life, eh?” he mused aloud.

 

His screen was flashing and the mock-telephone Skype noise, heralding a call, was already ringing when he entered the living room. Kili hurried over to his laptop, hastily hitting the video button to turn off his camera.

 

“Hey, sorry I’m late.”

 

“That’s okay. I only called three times to no reply.” Despite his words, there was no irritation or anger in Fili’s voice – on the contrary, he sounded breezy, amused.

 

“Sorry. How was your weekend?”

 

“Not fun.” Kili heard Fili’s huff. “Got so many assignments. I think these people don’t realize I already _know_ what I’m doing, I’m only doing this so I can have something credible to put on paper.”

 

Kili tried to laugh. “Don’t get cocky.”

 

“I’ve got this project to do and its such a load of crap, all this artisty ‘conceptual’ shit – its like they care more about all the ‘thought’ you put behind a photo more than what the photo actually looks like, which makes no sense because most people seeing a photograph are hardly going to know your fucking thought process behind it, are they? All they’re going to see is the _picture_ right? Maybe I should change course.” Fili sounded thoughtful. “But then again – can’t be arsed. I’ll get through this term, and it’ll be better next year. Also, would mean starting again and spending even longer in this god-forsaken country and away from you.”

 

“I’m glad you feel that way.”

 

“And on top of that, I’m freezing my balls off in this supposed ‘springtime’. Honestly, this country. Anyway. How are you doing?”

 

“Fine.”

 

“You don’t sound fine.” Kili had barely managed to squeeze a few words around Fili’s rant – but Fili was perceptive enough to pick up on Kili’s mood from even that. Fili suddenly felt guilty for ranting on for so long – they’d been talking for five whole minutes and only now was he asking Kili how he was.

 

“I am.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.” But Kili’s voice betrayed him as it quivered at the end.

 

“Kee? Put your video on. Please?”

 

Kili covered his mouth with a hand to calm the sound of his shuddery breaths. “No – sorry, I’m just being stupid.”

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“I just… I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too. I miss you more.”

 

“No you don’t. You’re at uni having the time of your life.”

 

“Hardly.” Kili heard Fili snort, but couldn’t see the expression on his face as his eyes were blurred with tears. “I’m a mature student. I live alone in a ugly tiny flat and most of the other freshers are too scared to talk to me because I’m at least seven years older than any of them.” He gave a dry chuckle. “I’m really spreading my social-butterfly wings.”

 

It was a bit lame, but Kili laughed anyway. He was hit again by a sudden surge of missing Fili.

 

“Sorry,” he repeated. “I just – feel sortof lonely right now. You’re gone, Ori’s away, Noreen’s gone – “ Kili felt his throat tighten and closed his mouth before a choke or a sob could break out.

 

“Go see your mum,” Fili urged softly.

 

“They’re not here.” Kili scraped his nose on the back of his hand. “They went on safari for half term.”

 

“They’ll be back next weekend. Go see them then.”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I will. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so clingy.”

“Don’t be sorry. I miss you too. A lot.” Fili bit his lip, suddenly glad he had turned off his video too. He didn’t want Kili to see the tears in his own eyes. A quick glance in the mirror affirmed that he looked as wretched as Kili sounded.

 

“I still – I could buy you a ticket. From my dad’s account. I still know his pin.”

 

“No. Fili don’t do that.”

 

“He wouldn’t even notice if a few hundred pounds went astray.”

 

There was a pause. “I don’t want anything from him,” Kili replied shortly, and Fili understood.

 

“Fair enough. I just hate hearing you so upset.”

 

“I’m so sorry. I just – feel a bit fragile. It’s pathetic.”

 

“You’re not pathetic. And stop apologizing, there’s no need to apologize.”

 

“I got fired, Fili.”

 

Fili froze. “What?”

 

“Me and Ori. We were – laid off. Neither of us got the jobs we applied for. We’re unemployed.”

 

“That’s not the same thing as being fired,” Fili told him gently.

 

“Isn’t it? Our contracts ended, and they didn’t offer us another one. It might as well be.” Kili sounded bitter, and by the choked sounds coming from the other end of the line, it sounded as though he had started crying in earnest. “It’s – another fucking failure! And now I don’t know what I’ll do, I’ve been looking for weeks, I can’t find work anywhere– “

 

“When did this happen, Kee?”

 

“I found out a month ago. The contract ended last week.” Kili sounded frustrated. “Ori found something, he’s in Tanzania now, and he’s even got something lined up back here for when that’s over, and I’m still sitting here on my ass doing _nothing_! And I knew this was coming, I should have looked harder, found sodding _something_ -”

 

“You’re trying, Kee,” Fili said, trying not to sound strained. “It’s hard. It’s hard to find jobs, especially over there. It’ll be alright in the end…”

 

“No it won’t, because I can’t afford to pay the fucking rent anymore,” Kili forced the words out from behind his teeth. He scraped at his face, his tears gone, but their trails now tightening  and itching on his cheeks.

 

“I’ll be home soon,” Fili’s voice drifted out from his laptop. “Just three more weeks. It’ll be okay.”

 

“I hope so,” Kili whispered. He didn’t say what almost bubbled from his mouth - the ticket that had half drained his bank account now sitting placidly on the kitchen counter.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am SO sorry this chapter is late, life has been a bitch recently and i thought i'd prefer to keep my updates to weekends for sake of regularity... having begged your forgiveness, i hope you enjoy! Xx

 

Fili had been pretty skint when the time had come to fly home, so after toying with the idea of ‘borrowing’ a little money from Randy’s overflowing account (ultimately deciding that Kili was right and he didn’t want anything to do with the man), he booked himself the cheapest flight he could find – it had two changes, but he figured that three four-hour journeys was probably better than one long one for his flight anxiety. Though in retrospect, he pondered, as he found himself bored stiff in the third airport he’d visited in twenty-four hours, the six hours of his layover sluggishly crawling by, he decided he’d take the anxiety anytime.

 

But all that was forgotten as he clapped eyes on the crowd behind the metal barriers at Arrivals because there, at the front of the flurry, long dark hair half flopping into his eyes as he waved frantically, beaming fit to burst, stood his Kili.

 

……

 

“You certainly know how to make up for three months.”

 

Fili grinned into Kili’s chest, tracing circles around his belly button and kissing the skin in front of him softly. “Glad you approve.”

 

“They say time makes it easier,” Kili mused, his fingers tightening in Fili’s long loose hair, the hair elastic usually tying it back having been lost sometime in the last few hours activities. “But… somehow it felt harder. When you went back. This time.”

 

Fili lifted his head and bumped Kili reproachfully on the chin with his nose. “Don’t start. It’s bad enough being away, the last thing I want to talk about is when I’m back that I ever was away in the first place.”

 

Kili grumbled something unintelligible but allowed the subject to drop.

 

“Where did the time go? It felt you just arrived. And here we are, last day. You’ve got to pack.”

 

Fili groaned. “Shit.”

 

“Maybe later then.” Kili grinned, pushing Fili on his back. He bit gently on the exposed skin of his throat, pale after so many months without sun. “I can think of better things to do.”

 

..........

 

“I was thinking, Kee, I could always ask some people at the old conservancy I worked for – you know, Sosian – they might be able to take you on.”

 

“I’m not a safari guide, Fili. I couldn’t do what you do.”

 

“Sure you could. All it would need is a few strings pulled and a little training.”

 

“I – I don’t – “

 

“No worries, it was just a suggestion,” Fili brushed off. He straightened up. “God, it’s like tetris trying to pack this thing.”

 

Kili walked over to his side of the bed and began rearranging the mess that was Fili’s suitcase.

 

“I didn’t – I mean, thanks for offering, but I’ve actually – “

 

“Any chance I can stuff a few avocados in there?” Fili cut across him hopefully. Kili shifted a few bits; he almost rolled his eyes when he saw the six-pack of Tusker beer Fili was trying to smuggle in, swathed in a few old shirts and tucked in next to his flipflops.

 

“If they’re small, then yes.”

 

Fili smiled, running a hand over Kili’s cheek before he headed into the kitchen. Kili took that to mean that he didn’t mean to dismiss whatever he was stuttering to try and say before, nor was Fili wasn’t offended he’d rejected his help.

 

“Got ‘em,” Fili said happily, returning with four avocados. “Not too ripe, so they won’t explode all over my stuff.”

 

Kili took a deep breath. “I’m coming with you,” he said.

 

Fili glanced up from where he was bent over the suitcase, valiantly trying to cram the fruits in amongst his socks, evidently confused.

 

“I’m coming with you,” Kili repeated.

 

“What… Kili –“

 

“I miss you,” Kili blurted out suddenly before Fili could argue. “My contract’s ended and I haven’t found anything else. We can still keep the house, I was thinking of sub-letting it to Ori, he’s coming back soon and needs a place. I’ve started looking at jobs near where you are, I’ve done bar work and retail before, I can easily do it again. Sorry if it’s not what you wanted.” All at once, taking in the blank, surprised look on Fili’s face, Kili was filled with insecurities – maybe this wasn’t what Fili wanted. Maybe he was just being a massive barnacle, a pathetic little limpet while Fili had been looking forward to having some space. He suddenly felt like he didn’t know Fili at all.

 

“So,” Fili said quietly. “You’re coming back… to England... with me.” Fili took a deep breath. “I can’t ask you to do that, you’ve already moved halfway across the world for me once.”

 

“It wasn’t just for you,” Kili countered. “It was for many things. I knew then what I wanted to do – what I still want to do. Conservation’s still the goal. I’ve just hit a rut and need to take a break for a while. I’ll get back to it.”

 

He held up his ticket. “And its too late anyway. I kindof booked myself a flight ages ago.”

 

Fili’s face suddenly brightened, the clouds of doubt clearing as he grabbed Kili and crushed him hard against his chest. “Thank you,” he breathed, kissing as much of Kili’s face as he could reach with the younger man squashed against him. “This means the world to me. I’ve missed you so much, England’s so _miserable_ when you’re not there, _I’m_ so miserable when you’re not - but – Kili – are you _sure_?”

 

“It’s not that bad,” Kili scowled, retracting a few inches to look at Fili properly. “And yes. I’m sure.”

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

_Fast forward a few months: Kili and Fili have settled into life in London together. Fili passed first year with flying colours, just as everyone predicted, and Kili after some time found a job working in a good pub a few streets away. They’ve just spent their first Christmas alone together, although winter is far from over and homesickness never really goes away._

_And on that note: let the story begin!_

 

* * *

 

 

Fili was starting to get on Kili’s nerves.

 

Or at least, Kili was starting to realize that Fili really, really hated the cold.

 

“Why the fuck people live this far north of the equator is beyond me,” he grumbled every day, or something to that effect. He made a routine of putting on his clothes in the morning, pointedly winding a scarf around his nose and mouth, jamming a hat on his head and stretching his fingers into gloves, glowering at his reflection in the mirror the whole time as he muttered: “Now to brave the Arctic Circle to go to the corner shop and pick up more milk… if I don’t get frostbite or turn into an ice cube on the way…” He stoically refused to buy a new coat, even though Kili complained that the one he currently had was old-fashioned and unflattering – it was an second-hand ski jacket from the 80s, it had shoulder-pads for gods sake! – but Fili refused on the grounds that he didn’t intend to ever live in such a cold place for a long enough period of time to warrant such an investment.

 

It was only one day, when they stopped in a bar and Fili, after gleefully noticing their list of tropical fruit juices, ordered something only to spit the liquid back into his cup and angrily proclaim, “This isn’t fucking mango juice. This shit is from concentrate,” that Kili finally cottoned on – Fili wasn’t just unused to the weather. Fili was homesick.

 

And it was hard not to be. Kili missed it too, and often, when he thought of Arnold, and their little bungalow, a ginger NGO-enthusiast currently residing in it. He even missed the monkeys sometimes, and found himself reminiscing about their heavy feet battering against the corrugated iron roof, a natural alarm clock at seven. He found himself missing his old job when he was cleaning glasses and slicing the foam off pints, having flashbacks of himself in the same position at sixteen, dreaming of when he was twenty-four and living somewhere exotic with a glamorous job that paid the bills with extra to spare. It was hard not to feel like he hadn’t regressed – although admittedly he did have the man of his dreams, something he didn’t think he’d have at sixteen.

 

Whenever he thought of his feelings, he imagined how they must be redoubled in Fili – England came as no surprise to Kili, and he did feel comfortably at home. But after the mango juice incident, he didn’t miss how Fili always bought himself coconut shampoo, a brand he recognized they had in Kenya too, or Fili’s longing looks at his kikois, folded neatly in a cupboard, hardly worn because neither of them could justify turning up the heating just so they could wander around the house barefoot and bare-legged. He often caught Fili watching the news, even paying attention during the weather reports to see what kind of weather they were having in Kenya.

 

He came back one night triumphantly holding aloft a pack of _ugali_ flour and gabbling about the foreign-foods supermarket he’d discovered across town. Kili didn’t see the appeal of the gritty maize meal that flooded Fili with fond nostalgia, but he accepted the steaming white lump Fili plonked on his plate at dinnertime without complaint. That night, Fili smiled genuinely for the first time in weeks, scooping up the _ugali_ and spinach with his fingers and transferring it into his mouth, apparently oblivious to the knife and fork next to him.

 

There wasn’t much he could do, Kili reflected – neither of them had enough money to fly back. But, to his supreme shock, it appeared that for Fili snow was England’s redeeming factor.

 

Kili glanced up from his desk in their bedroom and groaned when he saw the fat white flakes falling. It was the first snow of the year and Kili put down his pen to stare at it for a few minutes. It was always beautiful while it fell, floating fairy-like and ethereal, promising excitement and hot chocolate and crackling fires, but in reality it was highly impractical – walking on the streets became a nightmare and public transport always seemed to have a heart attack at the first sight of snow. Kili was not looking forward to seeing all of his buses to work the next day cancelled.

 

He went into the living room to tell Fili, but Fili had noticed already and was standing staring out of the window. The look of wonder on his face made Kili think of the minions in _Despicable Me_.

 

“You like it?” Kili asked, incredulously.

 

“Need… camera.” Fili ran for the table, grabbing it and unzipping it from its case. He turned back to the window, freezing as he took in Kili.

 

“What?” Kili asked in the sudden silence, crossing his arms self-consciously over his body.

 

Fili pushed the window open, letting in a blast of cold air, a few wet flakes landing on the carpet.

 

“Stand. Stand there. So you’re sortof silhouetted against it.”

 

“I’ve got goosebumps,” Kili protested, but did as Fili asked. A gust of icy wind suddenly blew in, making his eyes widen in shock as he hunched his shoulders against the cold, hair rising around his face like a dark halo.

 

Fili gave a sharp intake of breath. Click.

 

“ _Can we please close the sodding window now??”_

 

Fili lowered his camera. “Can we go outside?”

 

“Anything for you,” Kili muttered, grabbing their coats.

 

They walked hand in hand through the black and white world, snow swirling and gathering about their feet, collecting on the pavement. It would be grey slush the next day, but Kili couldn’t bear to tell Fili that as he glanced in wonderment around them. Kili pulled them off the grubby street to the park, which was at least a little more romantic, the noise of the traffic on the road dulled by the silver-encrusted shrubs.

 

Fili let go of Kili’s hand to hold out his palm, trying to catch some of the flakes falling.

 

“I always thought after Christmas it got warmer.”

 

“God no.” Kili buried his hands under his armpits, having not had time to grab gloves before their spontaneous decision to take a walk – one he hoped they wouldn’t do again. “It’s after Christmas that it starts. December is only the beginning.”

 

“ _There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time,_ ” Kili sang teasingly.

 

Fili scowled. “There is snow in Africa. I’ve seen it. On top of Kilimanjaro and Mount Kenya and such. And I’ve heard it snows in the highlands in Ethiopia too. Oh, the irony,” he laughed.

 

Kili was taken aback. “I thought you’d never seen snow before.”

 

“I haven’t. Well. I’ve never seen it snowing. I’ve only seen it on the ground.”

 

Kili looked upwards, squinting as snowflakes drifted threateningly close to his eyes. The sky wasn’t black – more a strange tea-like shade from the smog, the flakes almost silhouetted against it.

 

“Maybe a white Christmas wouldn’t be so bad,” Kili heard Fili mumble, so low he was barely audible. Kili let out an incredulous laugh.

 

“I’ll remind you of that next time you have to pop out to the corner shop and start grumbling about giving Scott a run for his money…!”

 

“The cold is miserable. But at least when it snows its beautiful.”

 

“Please God stick to the photography. Never take up poetry.”

 

But despite his teasing, Kili began to hear the hatchings of a plan in the back of his mind.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all. please PLEASE forgive me for being so bad at updating and for not replying to your comments, i have been somewhat consumed with life lately and another story I'm in the process of writing and updating has been taking precedence over this one!
> 
> in addition... I'm afraid this is the last update on this story for a while. how long i cannot say but i know whats coming, its just a matter of finding the time to get it down and i don't want to rush it and make sure its good. so i beg your patience and forgiveness and i promise there will be more eventually!!
> 
> so for now - i hope you enjoy :) and know that i treasure all your comments and kudos and support Xxx

“Have you ever been on a dry skislope before?”

 

“No.”

 

“It’s easy,” Kili assured him. “I went with my dad to the Alps once, you’ll pick it up fast. Just follow my lead.”

 

Predictably, Fili was soon whizzing past Kili on the hardest slopes, whooping as he aced his turns. Upon reflection, he really should have guessed that Fili had a knack for extreme sports, Kili thought, somewhat grudgingly, as they pulled up to a stop at the end of their last run of the day.

 

“Was that fun?”

 

“Yeah! It was!” Fili’s grin stretched so wide it looked as it would split his face. “I can’t believe I’ve never tried it before. It’s wicked.”

 

“Then you’re in luck.” Kili clapped him on the back. “We are going skiing in two weeks!”

 

Fili looked confused.

 

“I booked for us to go to Scotland for a few days. After your deadlines and stuff, of course.” Fili’s jaw dropped.

 

“You don’t have to look _that surprised_. I’m not utterly incapable,” Kili huffed.

 

“I didn’t mean that, I just – wow, what?” Fili let out a slightly incredulous laugh. “I can’t believe it! That sounds great!”

 

“All part of my make-Fili-love-the-cold plan,” Kili told him, half teasingly, half truthfully. Fili only beamed and hugged him in reply – Kili mentally congratulated himself for the realization that with the inclusion of extreme sports into the equation, Fili may forgive the weather a bit.

 

……

 

Part of the reason Kili had picked Scotland was that they wouldn’t have to fly. Nonetheless, it was a long train journey overnight, followed by another train journey, then a coach to the resort. The windy roads made them lurch from one side of the bus to the other, but nothing could wipe the smile from Kili’s face as he watched Fili’s expression, dumbstruck like a child among so much snow for the first time.

 

As soon as they got off the bus, Fili wasted no time in digging his glove-encased fingers into the snow and giggling at it, promptly hurling a fistful at Kili.

 

“Hey, stop it. Act your age.” Kili tried to sound scolding as he dragged their suitcase off the bus, then sneakily slipped some frozen slush down Fili’s jacket when his back was to him.

 

“Argh, you cheeky devil!” Fili squirmed and Kili laughed vengefully, then, after briefly consulting googlemaps, pointed them in the direction of their hotel.

 

They went to a ski shop and picked up some gear and a map, ready for tomorrow. It was evening by this time, and they settled for a pretty-looking restaurant in the main square with a roaring fire and decorations inside reminiscent of a Swiss chalet, gingham curtains with matching red-and-white tablecloths, hearts cut out of the backs of the wooden chairs. The menu was undeniably Scottish, however.

 

“Haggis…” Fili toyed with the idea aloud.

 

“It’s not that bad, try it,” Kili interjected, eyes widening at the ‘Deep Fried Mars Bar’ on the desserts list. “That thing’s real, I thought it was only a myth!”

 

It most certainly wasn’t a myth, though he wished it had been, as he lay in bed later feeling queasy.

 

He still hadn’t fully recovered from his batter overdose the next morning, but Fili’s excitement did much to improve his mood. Kili wanted to be the first on the slopes, but he seriously underestimated how long it would take Fili to get ready, partially due to Fili’s massive preoccupation with his own reflection, kitted out for the first time in full-on ski gear (mostly borrowed, but awesome nonetheless). Several hundred selfies later, ranging in from cute to cheesy to downright embarassing, they were in line for the ski lift. Fili stared around them curiously.

 

“It’s like a balloon safari. Only except animals, there’s people shooting down mountains with bits of wood strapped to their feet.”

 

“I’ve never thought of it that way,” said Kili, for lack of another way to respond to that strange comment.

 

Fili had his first fall at the top of the ski lift. Kili almost fell over himself at the look of bewilderment on Fili’s face.

 

“You haven’t even done a whole run yet,” Kili admonished.

 

“I was _not expecting that_ ,” Fili grumbled, leaning on his poles and making his somewhat ungainly way back onto his feet. “That bit’s hard!”

 

It took Fili a few more tries before he truly mastered the art of getting off a ski lift gracefully, but by noon Kili decreed him passable. It was a beautiful day – it wasn’t crowded, the snow was good, the sun was shining. And best of all, Fili had taken to the mountains like a duck to water.

 

……

 

Fili stared out of the window, watching the countryside of the north speed past. Kili was on his phone, editing photos, occasionally letting out a snort and turning his screen to show him a particularly funny selfie, or a picture of the ginormous snowman they had made on the one day they decided to release their inner children in the foot-deep snow just outside their hotel, or a picture of Fili half-buried in waist-deep snow the time they’d foolishly decided to take an impromptu walk off-piste.

 

At that moment, Kili chuckled, showing Fili a picture of his blonde self standing with a snowboard, the day they’d decided to swap their skis for  snowboards. “It’s a shame we sucked at snowboarding. You’d look awesome as a snowboarder.”

 

“You mean _you_ sucked at snowboarding.”

 

“Alright,” Kili admonished. “You’re great at everything.”

 

“Damn straight.” Kili gave him a look that wiped the smug look off his face.

 

“I sincerely hope not.”

 

“Ha, ha, ha,” Fili quipped. “Are you going to put that goddam thing away and cuddle?”

 

“In a sec.” Kili compromised, turning so Fili could wrap his arms around him but keeping one hand free for his phone.

 

“Antisocial,” Fili grumbled into his hair.

 

“I’m just posting them now... you know mum and Bilbo will never forgive us if we don’t... done.” Kili turned off his phone and dropped it on the table. When he looked up, Fili was staring out of the window again, looking pensive. “Are you ok?”

 

Fili turned to him and smiled. “Yeah. Just sad the week’s over.”

 

“Me too.”

 

......

 

“Are you happy here?” Kili asked.

 

It was dark, and they were in bed. They’d been talking for a while. Kili wasn’t sure why he asked, but the words slipped from his mouth before he could give it too much thought.

 

“No.” Fili’s reply was quiet. He squeezed Kili’s shoulder and Kili gripped his arm a little tighter.

 

Kili had known the answer before he’d even asked, really.

 

“I’m happy with _you_ ,” Fili added.

 

“I know that.” Fili laughed in reply, uncurling his hand from Kili’s shoulder to lock their fingers together.

 

“But... you’re homesick. You don’t like it here.” Kili’s voice was a little sad, even as he tried hard not to be.

 

“It’s not England, as such,” he said quietly. “It’s the way it changes. I used to come here every year or at least every other year when I was growing up. And every time it seemed so different. So full of things I didn’t have a clue about. I couldn’t keep up.

 

“They say if you put a frog in boiling water it’ll hop right out. But if you put it in cold water and put a fire underneath it, it’ll just boil to death. Kenya changes, but slowly, at a pace I can live with. Or maybe it’s because we started in the same place. In England I always feel like I’m catching up, like I’m missing out.”

 

“It might help if you let me get you a smartphone.”

 

The noise Fili made, somewhere between an indignant snort and a cough, made Kili bite his lip to keep from laughing in the otherwise serious moment.

 

“I’m sorry I can’t live here,” Fili told him softly. “I’m sorry – I know this is your home, and I want to be happy here, I just don’t know if I can. As soon as my course is over, I want to get out. But I’ll stay if that’s what you want.”

 

“I don’t want to stay,” Kili told him.

 

“No?”

 

“It’s nice being back, for now. But I don’t know – life here seems too easy somehow. Kind of – dull. If you’re not living life on the edge, you’re taking up too much room.”

 

“You need to stop looking at those annoying motivational posters on Instagram,” Fili groaned.

 

“But really.” Kili shifted a little, moving up so his face was closer to Fili’s. “The French have an expression, they call it _mal d’Afrique_. It literally means ‘Africa sickness.’ I think I’ve got it.”

 

Fili hummed. “There’s a ring of truth to that. There’s something about it, it gets into your blood. So many people end up coming and never leaving.”

 

“ _Like me_ ,” Kili almost said, but for once his tongue obeyed his brain’s orders: the expression _don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched_ springing to mind.

 

 

 


End file.
